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August

August, summer that would never end,
in that moment we’d be friends forever.
Think of all the time that we could spend,
doing all the things we love together
soon…

Warming up to an extravagant,
all extents were just thrown out thanks to my
conscience yelling at me to hit send.
It’s undeniable, we grew up side by (side).

Countless times that I am yet to miss,
hours that I’d die to live as decades. (Live forever)
Blossoming, escaping the abyss,
light beyond the blackest hole, what have I found…

Far away, and it isn’t over yet…
Mild astray, over yet…

We had made to semptember by the time
I realized I hadn’t lost my mind, it’s
everything we’ve done, and everything we’ll do,
it’s mesmerizing that it won’t be over soon.

Twinleaf Town

Locked in palace walls, empty echoed halls…
Longer I can’t bare, take me anywhere!
Austin Texas, it will just have to be, there where I can see things from my wildest dreams.

Yes I’m getting fat, no I just can’t wean.
Yes that’s how I sound, no that’s not what I mean!
Live life in reverse, every day’s a curse,
it’s a theater that I’m not fit to play, but…

Then I saw you, glittering wonder…
piano cues played and memories made.
It’s such shame, this glittering wonder’s
stuck in such a town.

I can’t take no more questions at my door,
money’s tight, I’m done, days of work means none!
Austin Texas was never meant to be
birds and high rise flats, it’s all that there’s to see!

Yes I’m getting fat, yes I’m gonna lean!
Yes that’s how I sound, yes that’s just what I mean!
Life’s just getting sore, I can’t take no more!
There’s a final straw and I think I broke it…

When I saw you, glittering wonder…
piano cues played and memories made.
It’s such shame, this glittering wonder’s
stuck in Twinleaf Town.

Six whole months it’s been, of destroying sin,
I can gladly say, things have truly changed!
Austin Texas looks just like paradise,
since I’ve started to stare through radiant eyes.

I’m no longer fat, there’s no need to wean.
I like how I sound, what I truly mean
is that spirits low never rise as fast,
all it takes is time and a miracle like:

When I saw you, glittering wonder…
piano cues played and memories made.
I’ve come to see, this glittering wonder’s
just for Twinleaf Town!

How to build a Nuclear Reactor

I read it in a book, a million dreams contained right in my hands.
That’s all it takes, that’s all I make
whithin the
walls of my abode, it’s just a few more smoke detectors.
Soon, we’ll be okay, and we’ll live forever..

Far away from home, where I should be,
but I’m still here, I’m forced and
Having to lie, just so that I
could know better!

So here I am again, tryna build a nuclear reactor!
maybe it’s hopeless so…

Take me far away, from this disarray,
we’ll mail-in-order isotopes and pray we’ll get to crtical!

as far as we may know, everything’s for show.
Maybe I could bring some light to
this dark world we seem to live in.

When did everything go so wrong…
maybe I’ll go back, yeah!

Charlotte's Web

She’s a web-crawling spider who lives in a cardboard box.
A new computer with a door and a million locks.

Sweet mosquitos that get caught in her widest nets.
This bug collector that’s left debtless, with empty threats.

You’ll never see, pristine, her sun-dyed monochrome dress.
Her brain is atorphy and so are her last regrets.

So now it’s simple thoughts and phrases, and so few words.
Repeat ad nauseum the things that you’ll never.

Charlotte’s web,
that she knowns closely, now, what would Aaron think?
“so…” she wept,
‘cause it only matters when it shatters.

Why would it kill you to wear something bright for once?
Lest the sun reject your essence, in brilliance.

And now the brightest lights came far from the land you laid.
There’s no more floppy disks to save you, now I’m afraid.

So, late at night, she’ll lock it up and they’ll never know!
Right in her eardrum heart: It sounds real on radio…

I miss my brain I miss my melody, it was sweet and sound.
I miss the time before this radioactive meltdown.

Charlotte’s web,
that she knowns closely, now, what would Aaron think?
“So…” she wept,
‘cause it only mattered when it shattered

Window

Take a look out my window to the underworld,
left abandoned, and to its own device.
in a flash, that was faster than the speed of light,
with millions of answers that all lead home.

Cry her to sleep, stare falsity,
cold bedroom floors will change you.
Draw what you can’t see, don’t let it be,
Staring forever through glass walls.

Looking through the window and a net of lies,
peeking through the seems of my reality…
If it wasn’t for all the light I’m letting through here
what kind of man would I’ve ever been?

Lay here to rest, don’t know what’s left,
I’ve seen it all and more, man I’m
wondering why, the clouds in the sky
never stoop down to say hello?!

(No, no, no no no, no, no, NOOO, no,
no, no, no no NO no no, no, no, no.)

Stared through the window for eternity,
seen a million different people come and go!
It’d be natural that I would’ve been left faceless
had I not chosen to stare, alone!!!!!

Anthem of Moscow

(Women just like me.
It doesn’t matter about how “good” things get,
it will never take away the years of complete social isolation,
rejection and denigration that I’ve faced.)

(Every birthday spent alone. Never recieving a valentine not even from a friend.
Going into each New Years alone, sitting by myself in a dark room,
and that new year being as horrendous as the last.)

(Constantly being called ugly, seeing women that look like me be called ugly,
that have the same body as me, similar faces, knowing how devalued I am-
knowing that people think I’m disgusting for looking the way that I do.)

(Nothing will ever take that away.
Those memories, feelings and experiences will always be attached to me.
I will never get away from it. It’s permanently a part of me.)

Out in the blistering cold, Something that science
had never foretold, that there’d be dinosaurs
prancing out there
in the snow.

(Whichever way I look at my situation, it seems truly hopeless.)

I had seem them before, back in America
that I was sure, but now I’m in Moscow
watching these giants,
and you know I can’t stand giants.

(And I’m incapable of being happy with all of that being a part of me.)

You understand well, so let me stand by
the gates of hell, are locked from inside.
Keep fading your hair that way
and it might just fade away.

(Nothing will ever satisfy me in this life. Nothing will ever be enough.)

I may never take pleasure in the death of the wicked
But I can’t take pressure, for those that forgive it,
I know they want me dead
and cladded in black and red…

(Not any kind of friendship or relationship, which are bound to fail anyway.
I just need to be pretty. That’s all I need.)

(I understand; I get it. I know what people are like, I know what life is like.)

(I just need to be pretty.)

(Seeing women that look like me be called ugly,
that have the same body as me, similar faces,
badly that I am-)

I know it’s not over yet!