August
August, summer that would never end,
in that moment we’d be friends forever.
Think of all the time that we could spend,
doing all the things we love together
soon…
Warming up to an extravagant,
all extents were just thrown out thanks to my
conscience yelling at me to hit send.
It’s undeniable, we grew up side by (side)
countless times that I am yet to miss,
hours that I’d die to live as decades. (Live forever)
Vlossoming, escaping the abyss,
light beyond the blackest hole, what have I found…
Far away, and it isn’t over yet…
Mild astray, over yet…
We had made to semptember by the time
I realized I hadn’t lost my mind, it’s
everything we’ve done, and everything we’ll do,
it’s mesmerizing that it won’t be over soon.
Twinleaf Town
Locked in palace walls, empty echoed halls…
Longer I can’t bare, take me anywhere!
Austin Texas, it will just have to be,
there where I can see things from my wildest dreams.
Yes I’m getting fat, no I just can’t wean.
Yes that’s how I sound, no that’s not what I mean!
Live life in reverse, every day’s a curse,
it’s a theater that I’m not fit to play, but…
Then I saw you, glittering wonder…
piano cues played and memories made.
It’s such shame, this glittering wonder’s
stuck in such a town.
I can’t take no more questions at my door
money’s tight, I’m done days of work means none
Austin Texas was never meant to be
birds and high rise flats, it’s all that there’s to see
Yes I’m getting fat, yes I’m gonna lean
yes that’s how I sound, yes that’s just what I mean
life’s just getting sore, I can’t take no more
there’s a final straw and I think I broke it
When I saw you, glittering wonder…
piano cues played and memories made.
It’s such shame, this glittering wonder’s
stuck in Twinleaf Town.
Six whole months it’s been, of destroying sin
I can gladly say, things have truly changed
Austin Texas looks just like paradise
since I’ve started to stare through radiant eyes
I’m no longer fat, there’s no need to wean
I like how I sound, what I truly mean
is that spirits low never rise as fast
all it takes is time and a miracle like
When I saw you, glittering wonder…
piano cues played and memories made.
I’ve come to see, this glittering wonder’s
just for Twinleaf Town!
How to build a Nuclear Reactor
I read it in a book, a million dreams contained right in my hands
that’s all it takes, that’s all I make
whithin the
walls of my abode, it’s just a few more smoke detectors
soon, we’ll be okay, and we’ll live forever
Far away from home, where I should be
but I’m still here, I’m forced and
Having to lie, just so that I
could know better!
So here I am again, tryna build a nuclear reactor!
maybe it’s hopeless so…
Take me far away, from this disarray
we’ll mail-in-order isotopes and pray we’ll get to crtical
as far as we may know, everything’s for show
maybe I could bring some light to
this dark world we seem to live in
When did everything go so wrong
maybe I’ll go back, yeah
Charlotte's Web
She’s a web-crawling spider
who lives in a cardboard box
a new computer with
a door and a million locks
sweet mosquitos that
get caught in her widest nets
this bug collector that’s left
debtless, with empty threats
You’ll never see, pristine
her sun-dyed monochrome dress
her brain is atorphy and
so are her last regrets
So now it’s simple thoughts
and phrases, and so few words
repeat ad nauseum
the things that you’ll never
Charlotte’s web
That she knowns closely,
now, what would aaron think?
“so…” she wept,
‘cause it only matters
when it shatters
Why would it kill you
to wear something bright for once
lest the sun reject your
essence, in brilliance
And so the brightest lights
came far from the land you laid
there’s no more floppy disks
to save you, now I’m afraid
So late at night she’ll lock it up and
they’ll never know
right in her eardrum heart
It sounds real on radio
I miss my brain I miss my
melody, was sweet and sound
I miss the time before this
radioactive meltdown.
Charlotte’s web
That she knowns closely,
now, what would aaron think?
“so…” she wept,
‘cause it only mattered
when it shattered
Window
Take a look out my window to the underworld,
left abandoned, and to its own device.
in a flash, that was faster than the speed of light,
with millions of answers that all lead home.
Cry her to sleep, stare falsity,
Cold bedroom floors will change you,
draw what you can’t see, don’t let it be,
Staring forever through glass walls.
looking through the window and a net of lies
peeking through the seems of my reality
if it wasn’t for all the light I’m letting through here
what kind of man would I’ve ever been?
Lay here to rest, don’t know what’s left
I’ve seen it all and more man I’m
wondering why, the clouds in the sky
never stoop down to say hello
(No, no, no no no, no, no, NOOO, no,
no, no, no no NO no no, no, no, no.)
Stared through the window for eternity,
seen a million different people come and go!
It’d be natural that I would’ve been left faceless
Had I not chosen to stare, alone!!!!!
Anthem of Moscow
Women just like me.
It doesn’t matter about how “good” things get,
it will never take away the years of complete social isolation,
rejection and denigration that I’ve faced.
Every birthday spent alone. Never recieving a valentine not even from a friend.
Going into each New Years alone, sitting by myself in a dark room,
and that new year being as horrendous as the last.
Constantly being called ugly, seeing women that look like me be called ugly,
that have the same body as me, similar faces, knowing how devalued I am-
knowing that people think I’m disgusting for looking the way that I do.
Nothing will ever take that away.
Those memories, feelings and experiences will always be attached to me.
I will never get away from it. It’s permanently a part of me.
Out in the blistering cold, Something that science
had never foretold, that there’d be dinosaurs
prancing out there
in the snow.
(Whichever way I look at my situation, it seems truly hopeless.)
I had seem them before, back in America
that I was sure, but now I’m in Moscow
watching these giants,
and you know I can’t stand giants.
(And I’m incapable of being happy with all of that being a part of me.)
You understand well, so let me stand by
the gates of hell, are locked from inside.
Keep fading your hair that way
and it might just fade away.
(Nothing will ever satisfy me in this life. Nothing will ever be enough.)
I may never take pleasure in the death of the wicked
But I can’t take pressure, for those that forgive it,
I know they want me dead
and cladded in black and red…
Not any kind of friendship or relationship, which are bound to fail anyway.
I just need to be pretty. That’s all I need.
I understand; I get it. I know what people are like, I know what life is like.
I just need to be pretty.
seeing women that look like me be called ugly,
that have the same body as me, similar faces,
badly that I am-
I know it’s not over yet!